Sorry, I've Got No Head

Sorry, I've Got No Head is a CBBC children's sketch comedy. The programme's cast originally consisted of William Andrews, David Armand, James Bachman, Marcus Brigstocke, Anna Crilly, Justin Edwards, Mark Evans, Mel Giedroyc, Marek Larwood and Nick Mohammed, most of whom have also written parts of the show.

The first series began in 2008, where sketches included Jasmine and Prudith, who think everything will cost "a thousand pounds", and the Fearless Vikings, who are scared of everything.

The second series began in 2009 and featured three new cast members; Kobna Holdbrook-Smith, Fergus Craig and Toby Davies. Marek Larwood did not return. New sketches include Embarrassed Louise, who struggles to deal with an unusual problem; the Witchfinder General, who calls people witches and witchmen show up to take them away; an angry Snowman, who battles for equality in everyday life; and Ross from the Outer Hebrides, who has the dubious distinction of being the only pupil in a school with just one teacher and a sitcom featuring a family of dung beetles.

The third and final series started in May 2011. Javone Prince and a returning Marek Larwood appeared in the new series.

The show started airing on YTV Canada in late 2009, and season 2 started airing in late 2010.^[1]

Pixelface, another programme by CBBC, is inspired by the Backstage Access sketches.

Cast

Sketches

Introduced in Series 1

• Headless Bill, a man with no head who gets into some sticky situations and who gives the show its name. Appears in series 1-2.
• Jasmine and Prudith, who believe everything will cost a thousand pounds, despite what the person they're interacting with says. However, after they encounter the person they say that they will do something that would generally cost a thousand pounds, such as buying a mansion or a yacht. Appears in every series.
• The Fearsome Vikings who are scared of everything. Appears in every series.
• Emily and Monty Forrest, a brother and sister duo act who try to get a performance in a show, but fail at getting the part when a routine of theirs goes horribly wrong. In series 3, they try to make their own show. Appears in every series.
• Advice Man, who tells you really stupid things to not to do that he obviously has done, such as lending your clothes to the Incredible Hulk or spending your pocket money on robotic legs. Appeared in series 1, returned in series 3.
• The Witchfinder General, who dresses like a person in the Stuart era. When he finds himself annoyed by some member of the public, he points at them and declares them a witch, at which point a mob of peasants come in and carry them away. A parody of the 1968 horror film of the same name. Appears in every series.
• Blueberries, where a lady hosting a cooking show flatulates whenever she talks or thinks about blueberries. Appears in every series.
• The Outer Hebridean Island of North Barassay, where the school has only one teacher and one pupil. Appears in every series.
• The parents, they buy their son, only half of a thing if he doesn't do good enough (I.E a bike with no wheels or a kite with no sheet) then tell him if he does better they will buy him the other half, to which he asks "Can I go upstairs?". In the second series, they congratulate their son on accomplishing something and treat him into going out, unfortunately, they bring up stuff that they had to pay for, so they leave him at home with a babysitter which is one of his teachers. In the third series, they try to convince their son not to do what he was going to do like play in a football match. The son feels convinced at first and decides not to do it and later changes his mind and tells them that he is going to do it. The father bets he will do something silly like eat his own hat or wear women's clothing if he does do good in something. The son ends up telling his parents that he did really well in what he did resulting in the father doing what he said he was going to do if he did do well in something. Appears in every series.
• The man or woman who starts out with a simple problem, at which point the narrator points out that he/she is a complete idiot (e.g. trying to dial a potato instead of a phone or using a fish as toilet paper) and starts shouting at him/her. Appears in series 1, returns in series 3.
• Harry Bolds, a man who tries to do an extreme activities like canoeing. He first shows off his gear on what he will need for this activity to make sure he is prepared, usually being expensive and excessive items that the 'bloke at the shop' has tricked him into buying. Harry Bolds brings his own odd items also, such as a Kendal Mint Cake or a book 'in case he gets bored'. After he does the activity, however, he is shown in bad condition and says that it's not for him. In series 2, he has an assistant called Terry Brave. Appears in series 1-2
• Bee. When something ordinary is going on like someone in a recording studio, someone will always hear a buzzing sound. Another person would ask if there is a bee in here, then the camera will turn to a man dressed up as a bee in the room. Only appeared in series 1.
• Steve, a boy who has a time machine which he uses to go into the future to spoil something for his friend Frank just so he can do something he wants, despite promising to go into the future to do something else, such as 'seeing if everyone is still wearing hats in 2015' or 'if he has finished the puzzle he started last October'. Only appeared in series 1.
• Billy, an imaginary friend who throws a fit every time he is offered a real item and not an imaginary item. After Billy throws a fit, his friend and the other person usually leave, to which Billy indulges in the same 'real' thing he rejected. Only appeared in series 1.
• The Bluebeard's. A pirate family whose son Jim Bluebeard struggles with his life at a Privateer school. Only appeared in series 1.
• Goth man. A man who likes and owns everything that's black. Only appeared in series 1.
• Shouty Choir. A choir that instead of sings, shouts every single word. Only appeared in series 1.
• Timothy and his mother, who try numerous ways to beat the traffic in order to get to school on time, but always fail, causing her to get the car keys. Appears in series 1-2
• A father who reads a bedtime story to his son, but the son doesn't buy it and then tells his father something he did that would shock the father seeing as he is 9 years old and unable to do something this grown up, such as landing a plane or helping David Tennant with loss of his sense of taste. Appears in series 1-2.
• Marion Clark, a parody of Jeremy Clarkson and Top Gear. Only appeared in series 1.
• The Secret Negotiator, a woman that sends messages to a boy in order to convince someone like his parents or his teacher to let him do something like stay up late or change his grade. It usually ends with her persuading the boy to go into a fit which would convince them easily, but backfire much later. Only appeared in series 1.
• A man who has various jobs like a bomb disarming officer or a surgeon says to his colleagues that he didn't really want to do this and has had no experience. He then states that he wanted to be something else like a belly dancer or a punk rocker, but is caught by a police officer who "had warned him about this before" and chases after him. Only appeared in series 1.
• Paintball Mania! A man who goes around paint balling various people. Only appeared in series 1.
• Grunbendior, a wizard that tries to help out with everyday problems, irritating his friends in the process. Only appeared in series 1.
• Clive the Wise, a sage who is asked various questions from the public, but his answer is mainly involving sheep and never really answering the question, subverted in the series 1 finale when he is actually asked a question about sheep. Only appeared in series 1.
• Two elderly gentleman, who reminisce about one of their long lost friends. They then agree that he would have liked a certain pop star. Only appeared in series 1.
• Two men are about to watch a movie on their DVD player, but one of them selects the language in a different country causing the background to change into a setting from the country and the other guy to dress up as something from that particular country. E.g. Egypt, a mummy. Only appeared in series 1.
• The Waveman, a guy who likes to start a Mexican wave in a public place and shouts boo when someone doesn't do it. He eventually gets everyone to do the Mexican wave. Appears in series 1-2
• Backstage Access, a sketch that features the daily lives of various video game characters. Appears in series 1-2.
• A father who tries to test his knowledge on various school subjects his son is doing and ends up not knowing anything about by claiming things have changed since his time.
• A mother reads a rhyme to her baby and the father scientifically accurately corrects the sentence of the rhyme she said.

Introduced in Series 2

• Embarrassed Louise, who inflates to a great size whenever she is embarrassed. Appears in series 2-3.
• The Angry Snowman, who isn't allowed near things that get very hot and then accuses people of "discrimination" Appears in series 2-3.
• Deer Club, a club of people who dress up and do deer related things. Only appeared in series 2.
• The Dung Beetles, a family of dung beetles who behave in a sitcom manner. Only appeared in series 2.
• Phillipe Lavavaseur, the French exchange student, who has been living with Danny's father for twenty years and always makes Danny's life a misery. Danny tries to get his father to convince him to leave but has trouble with the language which would make Phillipe believe that he wants to do something with him like go scuba diving. In Series 3, Danny finds out that Phillipe can speak English all this time and plans to tell his father but Phillipe prevents it from happening since he likes it here in England. In the French dub, He is a Canadian exchange student. At the end of many of his sketches, Danny says "I'm gonna get you, Phillipe Lavavaseur!" Appears in series 2-3.
• The Museum of Imagination, where Mr Elevenses and Mr Faraway show unwitting guests imaginary exhibits, then unveil a real one after they storm out. Appears in series 2-3.
• "By the way", where a man walks across a museum and/or shop and takes no notice of the outside world. Appears in series 2-3.
• The Dinner Lady, who randomly presses the Big Red Button of Doom if any student or staff falls for her traps. Appears in series 2-3.
• The Beekeeper who finds people having trouble in life and promises them that his bees can help, but his bees prove unhelpful when they attack him due to removing his gear that would otherwise have protected him. Appears in series 2-3.
• The Office of International World Records, where one guy comes in every day and tries (and fails) to break a record. Appears in series 2-3.
• The Hot or Not girls. A group of girls at a bus stop discussing whats hot or not, then when the leader does something like drop her ice cream, she would then say it is hot which causes the rest of the girls to do it. In series 3, it is reduced to two girls who discuss what is hot and after a long debate, declare it is so not hot. Appears in series 2-3.
• The doctor who diagnoses people with weird ailments, such as a paparazzi, or becoming a mime artist. Appears in series 2-3.
• The Cake Man, who uses every means possible to steal peoples cake. Appears in series 2-3.
• The Zombie Olympics, involving zombies trying to take part in sports but eventually losing some limbs. It returns in series 3 as The Zombie News Network. Appears in series 2-3.
• The Noisy Knights, whose Armour cause's a lot of noise which makes them believe that it's something else. Only appeared in series 2.
• Josh, a nervous ghost who has trouble communicating with other people by always spooking them in the process. Only appeared in season 2.
• Gerald, a man who usually confuses something for something he usually wants. e.g., giving someone a Mahican instead of a short, back and sides. Appears in series 2-3.
• Tammy, a normal girl who is usually interrupted by a storyteller when she is doing something important like attending a wedding. The storyteller reveals something to the public which Tammy knows about. Only appeared in series 2.
• A man who is playing a sport related video game on a Nintendo Wii has a friend round wanting to join him, but since the man has only one controller, the other guy has brought his own sport equipment which actually interacts with the game and causes the first guy to get hit. Only appeared in series 2.
• A lifeguard who blows his whistle at various people doing things like stepping on cracks or singing off key. Only appeared in series 2.
• A group of boy scouts that try to help out a couples life by building things for them inside their own house, e.g. a garden shed.

Introduced in Series 3

• Jasper the Dog, who always goes missing and is eventually found buying something from a shop or helping some random person
• Colin and Malcolm, two overweight aeroplane attendants that eat all of their food for some made-up reason
• "I'm Eddie Big!", where this guy with a massive afro insists that his friend have the biggest possible things
• Tony Take It, who lives down the back of the sofa and steals things
• Dean the "superhero", whose mother insists he has powers and forces him to wear a silly costume
• Remote Control Legs Man, who tries to live an ordinary life despite the fact that his legs require a remote control to move (started out as an Advice Man in season 1)
• Clive the clown, a clown lives his normal life, but when he sees a custard pie, he would proceed to throw it on peoples faces off screen while feeling sorry about it later.
• Sticky Martin, whose hands get stuck to everything
• The man who starts complaining about a terrible smell while waiting for a bus, then eventually launching something from his nose
• The Lady Tourist, who tells people where something is (e.g. swimming pool) and tells them to demonstrate the activities there (showing different swim strokes).
• Experimenter Boy, a man who tries to sort out his friends problems by making inventions for him which always backfire.
• Simon, a boy who tries many different ideas for a school fete which involves something dangerous.
• A man who thinks he bought a mouse trap, finds out his mistake when his wife sees a mouse and finds out he got a different trap. For example, a Santa Claus trap.

One Time Sketches

Sketches that have only appeared in one episode.

• A knight (William Andrews) who passes by a metal detector which beeps, he ends up putting his keys and watch in the bowl, he goes through the metal detector a second time which stays silent.
• A waiter (Marek Larwood) who eats most of a couple's orders.
• A man (Marcus Brigstocke) who keeps shouting "football."
• A football highlights show hosted by a man (James Bachman) that usually revolves an announcer (William Andrews) always shouting goal, another man (Marek Larwood) usually doing something else which the host thinks is football related but really it isn't and a malfunctioning computer.
• A weatherman (William Andrews) that runs backwards and forwards and ends up falling over.
• A parody of Mastermind with Job man and Goth man as two of the contestants, Job man ends up saying he barely knows anything about the topic given and is then chased by the police man offscreen who "warned him about this before" whereas the goth man ends up getting all the questions correct and wins (all the answers were black).

Pixelface

A spin-off series called Pixelface was commissioned by the BBC and featured what the video game characters from the sketch "Backstage Access" get up to in their spare time. It began airing in January 2011.^[2]

References

External links

• Sorry, I've Got No Head at British Comedy Guide